Reclaiming Control of Your Time: Saying No

In my previous blog I talked about change in the tech industry. Many major companies have been announcing additional performance-based layoffs and optimizing their organizations. In that change comes concern over whether or not you will be considered an under-performing employee. You may find yourself wanting to make sure you're not on the list of folks that are "under-performing". And with that urge you start saying "yes" to everything. A new trouble ticket to resolve? More features to develop? More docs, more meetings, more responsibilities? Whether you feel guilt, avoiding conflict, or paranoid that you're going to be on the short list, it's setting yourself up to fail at all the tasks you take on. It's a quick and slippery slope to losing trust with your peers and your leadership.

Many of us tend toward finding validation in the professional relationships we have. We want to say yes to everything. A manager or a peer tasks you with something? Yes! Can you join this meeting to provide your insight? Yes! Can you run this analysis and provide a narrative on what it's telling us? Yes! Saying "yes" feels good. You're helping someone else and you feel like you're helping yourself since you can add this to the long list of things you've accomplished this performance year. But is it truly the right thing to do? Say it with me - NO.

Why not? Agreeing to more and more commitments might make you feel as though you're enhancing your reputation for reliability and trustworthiness. However, you only earn that trust by fulfilling what you've promised. Much like the ever-expanding "honey do" list, there's always more to accomplish and insufficient time. Your capacity is limited, not only because you need sleep, but also because you require mental relaxation to maintain your sanity.

So, with that said - how do you say no? There's no easy answer. But here are three very successful strategies I have leveraged over the years:

1. "I'm slammed" - be honest with yourself and those looking for your help. Saying no to something is a snapshot in time. As you work through your backlog of things to do, you might find time later on. Let them know you don't have the bandwidth right now, and if its not a time sensitive request, maybe it's something you can help with later. Look on your schedule and work streams to see if there's enough time later in the days or weeks that follow where you can get back to them.

2. Connect them with someone else - we are rarely the singular person that has the knowledge and capability to help. Offer up other people they may be able to contact to get help, instead of you.

3. Re-prioritization: If it's your manager that's knocking, "I don't think I'll be able to meet expectations" is a good phrase to use. Let them know that given your current workload you can't meet the expectations (whether it's delivery timeline, quality of work, or depth of work). Set time aside with them to re-assess your current workload and priorities.

At the end of the day, it takes repetition and commitment to learn to say no. I've had my fair share of having to say no over the years, and it's never quite that easy. But, it is vital for your own success. Be mindful of your workload and the effort required to achieve success.